“Nice” Does Not Equal “Safe”

How many times have we seen stories in the news where bystanders, witnesses, neighbors comment following a tragedy of violence with something akin to “But our area is so ‘nice’,” or similar?

If we have learned nothing from September 11th, or the Aurora, Colorado shooting, or the Boston Marathon Bombing, or any of a myriad of school shootings, it should be that “bad things can happen in ‘nice’ places.” So what is the disconnect?

We have confused “nice” with “safe”, making the two synonymous when clearly they are not. It is true regarding our personal assessment of people as well. How many times do friends and neighbors often refer to the perpetrator of violence saying, “but he/she seemed like such a ‘nice’ person.” What made them seem so? Was it how they dressed; where they lived; where they worked; what they did for work; what car they drove; the fact they had a smile on their face? I can introduce you to a number of people in prison today (male and female alike) who fit all of those superficial categories…but they are still in prison today.

And understand the converse is true as well. Sometimes to be “safe” means we cannot afford to be “nice”. Living in the South, this is sometimes a difficult dynamic to relay to otherwise polite people who do want to risk being “rude” to someone asking for their help, asking them to go with them somewhere, or similar. Forget the fact they have “0” history with this person, they don’t want to be perceived as “rude”, even though their very safety could be put at-risk. And why do we assume that to state our position or stand our ground means we have to do so in a “rude” way versus simply voicing our position in a very matter-of-fact way? But at the end of the day, “WHO CARES” if this means protecting yourself (or loved ones) from potential harm?

No, nice does not equal safe, and being safe does not always afford us the option of being nice. It is important to know the difference and where your personal line of demarcation is in this regard. Knowing that difference could one day save your life.

Jeff McKissack, Founder
TroubleSpotters.com